Hey you, white person! Are you a good white person?

Spoiler alert: There is no such thing as a good white person.

You’ve grown up in a white area, surrounded by white people? You’re most likely racist.

You’ve grown up in a multicultural neighborhood and you are a white person? Definitely racist.

All your friends are white? Racist.

You have a friend of colour? So racist for saying so.

You described someone by their skin colour? Ugh.

You say you are colour-blind? Apex of a racist.

You don’t mind someone’s skin colour? You are trying to erase them, so racist.

I just finished listened to the latest episode of A Special Place in Hell where Meghan and Sarah are having a conversation with the ladies of Race to Dinner. Since I had already heard of them and their concept, I knew I would not like them, but maybe I could get something good out of it? Nope. I didn’t.

Out of the fact and these two people hadn’t done due diligence when they were invited to ASIH, and they looked a bit dumb (I am so racist) for not knowing their audience, nothing surprised me much. At a point, I became very angry, so much that I had to hit pause for a minute, to let go of some anger. During this break, I talked myself down, asked myself some important questions such as “How am I so convinced that I am not racist?” and “Why is that an undeniable proof that I am in fact, so racist?”. I could not make sense of all of this and never answered those questions.

They were very right in saying that black people have suffered immensely to the hands of white people since the birth of the USA. Not only were they enslaved but they were denied access to voting polls (by the Democrats) after being freed because they were too politically heavy, to be given back this right 100 years late. That’s a shame. I hear it. But they got it back and things have changed. THEY HAVE!

Racism exists, and proving it is not the point of their “White ladies shaming dinners”. Their point is to fire back this same racism at white people, here white women, to prove something. Tagging every woman as a white woman, assuming that skin colour defines a person individually, and using this tag as a form of public shaming is contradictory. How and who does it help?

I will lay my bias here in front of you. I have mostly been surrounded by white people all my life. French, white people, in a country who doesn’t really like French people (Canada). There were four black kids in my high school (zero in elementary school, only one adopted Korean), three brothers and a girl (in my class) and believe me, these three brothers were really looked at like they were gods. All that to say that my experience probably isn’t valid, and therefore I am even more (or less) racist because (or thanks to) of this. Pick a side.

So, because I am a white thin woman who was raised in a white region, I must have lived the dream and either think very high of myself or feel extremely ashamed of so much whiteness… You see the pattern, or the problem, call it what you like, with this all-white-people-are-assholes theory? It’s always going in every direction. Centrifugal, would have said my (very bad) Canadian Politics (white) teacher. Whatever the stance, the only good answer is that the white person is bad. You can even use the statistics wrongly to prove your point, all the time. If the only real segregation issue is based on a person’s skin colour, have I lived in a perfect world, one where everyone was nice to each other?

Truth is, racism isn’t the ultimate form of discrimination, it’s one of them. In a world where everyone is white, blue, or grey, there will be something to discriminate against, and people will organize in mobs to do so. I was beaten and bullied for over ten years for being fat, weird (so weird) and smart (good grades were not a thing to be proud of) with parents that didn’t take care of me, while my boyfriend was laughed at for being less masculine than other guys. Guess what, we are scarred for life. That our lived experience be dismissed because of white people’s tears is one thing but pretending that only non-whites have been through social pain, and that all this pain was due to bad white people is just too much. White people are also very mean to white people, and I am pretty sure there are plenty of non-white who are not very nice in the exact same proportions.

If being late is a white person’s thing, then black (or every colour of your choice) people are late because they have assimilated this behaviour by being white-washed or under white pressure. White women are gossipy? Same thing. I am very confused now, is whiteness a social construct? Because it definitely looks like it. Most of all, putting that much emphasis on skin colour feels a little counterproductive. How can one hope inclusivity and acceptance by categorizing people for their skin colour?

If something, being a thin white woman has become quite tasteless. Whatever happens, you’ve reached your goals not because you are worth it, but because you have the skin colour and the body shape that people wanted. You suffer, you are very depressed, or you need help? Well you shouldn’t because as a white woman, you have it all and you shouldn’t suffer. If you do suffer though, you should be suffering at the effects this internalized racism that you are throwing at every non-white’s face.

When I was younger, I was very envious in general, of other girls bodies, ability to make friends, but especially at non-white people skin colour. I hated to be white, because I was mostly green and every damn pimple or bruise or unwanted facial hair would show like a neon sign. Later, I stopped being jealous because it didn’t help me much, but I could not help but notice how white women are the ones who age the most badly and yet, everyone wants to be white? Wrinkles, stains, scars, we don’t age well! Why is everyone putting emphasis on the privilege of being white?

Lastly, lucky for them women who can now reach the very high status of being recognized for shaming white women and leading them into shaming other white women on the sole principle of the colour of their skin. This is a hell of a privilege because no white woman could ever reach that strange goal in 2023. Yay to the non-whites who can finally regress and replay the bad that white people did in the past – and use internet to do it. How glorious! Trends do always come back!